Post # 22 # A True-and-False Record

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All my life I have been an ordinary, average-ish student. Until I found this task in one of my jobs at office. And I scored 99.99%! What a feat!

There were around 800 true-and-false questions. The only time I scored above 80% was perhaps in my pre-high school days. Oh, well. This 99.99% means no salary increment or an appreciate letter from my boss. The sole satisfaction is that I have completed the job quite well on time. I’ll be getting a new task soon.

But do you know how I did it, scoring on a genius-type level? Let me explain. In this job I'm doing, the subject experts set the questions in simple MS Word. And the computer experts set them on a sophisticated computer program. Then me, as mentioned in my earlier post, I worked as an Error Checker; and I have to check if the correct answers are set properly, clicking on each question. I would have scored a perfect 100 if not for these computer experts who had not been giving in their 100% attention and making the silly mistakes.

I find it quite ironical that I scored highly just in this kind of things. The world is so relative. Leave the world. When you come in early in the office, the boss is not there; and when you are late, you know it: he is there not only early, but waiting for you to hand over some work. Leave office. I want to be 99.99% successful in life.

Post # 21 # Online Running Commentary (ORC)

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A few seconds ago, the cigarette was lit

And I read the tweet while I excrete
She tweets she is eating the meat
I dump - with grins, the shits I defeat

I get away from the heat
Outside the air is now upbeat
And I roll up my feet

Then she had drumstick, she repeats
And I took my whisky neat
And I stomp the online beat.

Post # 20 # Death, the Great Leveller

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'Death is the starlit strip between the companionship of yesterday and the reunion of tomorrow.'
Written on a monument erected to Mark Twain & Ossip Gabrilowitsch

All of us have a final destination. Heaven or hell, they are not but the funeral pyre at the riverbank, the last nail on the coffin are the final things we will ever have in life. And thinking about death. It makes us reticent. It makes our heart lamentable. It is spiritual. It is life.

Funny it is, but knowing about death can be a solace. I got some thoughts after reading Elisabeth Kübler-Ross' On Death and Dying. Dr Kübler-Ross writes about the terminally ill people and the Five Stages of Grief that they go through. Here I rephrase each step from the perspective of you and I:

Eternal Light
Five Stages of Grief

Stage 1 Denial. Do you believe all of us will die one day? Not me! I'm perfectly fine. I take a balanced diet and have everything in moderation.

Stage 2 Anger. But we cannot deny the fact. The sun sets in the west. But why me? Why not those bloody terrorists?

Stage 3 Bargaining. I will donate my eyes. I will donate my kidneys. I will donate my arse if it will be useful for the Holywood stars' plastic surgery.

Stage 4 Depression. __________________

Stage 5 Acceptance. We die of living, not of disease. It will be the most easiest thing. No more Monday blues. No more pain. No more suffering. Eternity. 

Post # 19 # Anna Wanna Fast!

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But I'm so hungry.

I'm not the typical gannet-next-door. I'm hungry to live my life as I want it to be. The mainland India is all gaga about Anna Hazare going to fast, while back in my hometown, we are fighting for our survival.

For 11 years, our Iron Lady, Irom Sharmila has been on a fast to protest against the Armed Forces Special Powers Act (AFSPA). A droconian law which might be suitable in a land of dictator, but which has been imposed on us, making a mockery of democracy -- while India shouts about being the largest democratic country. Beware! This superlative is only by virtue of its unstoppable population.

First, the mainstream media of the mainland is not interested. We have no sponsors for the crony capitalists. Secondly, there is a mistaken belief that AFSPA affects only a part of the Great India, while this military law shams the democratic principles that India is boasting of.

This is not victimisation. Though we are used to it.

I do feel pity for the old man with his unaffected simplicity. But I have no polite words for his followers. Simple as that.

Arundhati Roy puts it aptly in The South Reports:
"... The right to protest of the people in Posco, Kalinganagar, Dandakaranya were taken away a long time ago. Even in Delhi, at the Jantar Mantar, people from Bhopal or the Narmada Valley cannot stay overnight. The Right to Protest is only for the middleclass...

When you talk of the 'Fast', you only mean Anna Hazare's fast. Right now, 10,000 villagers in Koodankulam are on a relay hunger-fast against a nuclear plant. Sharmila Irom has been on a fast for 10 years against an Act that allows soldiers to kill on mere suspicion. But we are not talking about these fasts.

Deep inside the forest in a tribal village, when 500 policemen surround and burn your village and there is no TV camera, you can't go on a hunger-strike. You can only fight back. In any case, can the hungry go on a hunger-strike?"

Post # 18 # Different Monday Blues

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Any saying about Monday blues is so professionalese (a professional-speak, just like a journalese).

Just ask any farmer who is only waiting for a timely monsoon. But I got a different Monday blues today. Nope, I don’t have any official pending work; in fact, I have got a leave today.

Today’s blues is about it, the leave. First I got a holiday, that’s a good reason to celebrate, but not... And today is the birthday of Krishna, the Blue God as the anglicised Hindu believers call him. (I prefer writing the ‘h’ in small caps for gods, without any disregard for those people who believe in gods.)

Let me start with an excerpt:  
Krishna is the Blue God, infinite as space, deep as the oceans. Criptures call him the Poorna Avatara, the complete manifestation of Godhead. But he is also the adorable imp of Vrindavan, the playmate of the gopas (cowherds), Radha's beloved, Draupadi's sakha (friend), the saviour of the Pandavas, the protector of righteousness. He is God. He is man. He is Krishna.”
From ‘Krishna, a Joyous Celebration of the Divine,’ by Chandrika. The text is retrieved from Krishna Consciousness by Scholars without Borders.

Well, that’s the good part. Now the bad part. When we were kids, Krishna’s Birthday used to be a great festival. Just like a country fair. Lots of crowds, festive moods, cheerful folks, things like that. Then it was one kind of an experience visiting the Mahabali and ISKCON temples. But the times-they-are-a-changin’, so we sing in most untuneful strain nowadays. It means just a holiday and a day to run errands.

And on the back of my mind, I have something serious issues nagging my consciousness. The International Society for Krishna Consciousness is totally different!

The fact is: We, the Manipurus, are facing a severe identity crisis. I have always felt that Hinduism is one of the reasons why we are in such a pathetic condition today.

We know religion is such a strange bed-partner of politics. But it’s my problem with religion as a whole that’s making this holiday a headache. I gotta take a break.

Before leaving, here’s my top 5 list to get rid of the real Monday blues:

  1. Choose life! Choose happiness too!
  2. Have something nice for the breakkfast!
  3. A journal is a man’s best friend; jot down the blues!
  4. Friday! OMGoattt! Just complete the work before leaving the workplace on a Friday!
  5. Try tuning into some happy melodies!

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